Subscribe Twitter

Thursday, March 10, 2011

I have a penis, you have a vagina... We can't be friends

By Judah
Can a man and woman be just friends?

My answer is no. I don't feel that a man and woman can be just friends. I’m not talking about the kind of friendship in which you have known each other since high school or college and you check up on one another from time to time. I’m talking about the kind of friendship where you meet in a social environment; work, the gym, on the train, etc., and attempt to build a cordial friendship. The kind of friendship in which one calls the other to see how their day is going and what's new with them, hanging out on the weekends, grabbing a drink together after work. ...

I just don’t see that crap happening.

This is a topic that's been debated for some time. We tend to interact with those of like minds and backgrounds. It’s only natural that we spend time with those we find appealing. Let’s say I meet a male co-worker at the job and he is on his grind just like me. He's trying to build his hustle and also follows boxing, which I'm a big fan of. More than likely that is going to be my road dog.

Now take that same example and let's add a twist. Say I meet a woman at the job and she's hard working and determined like I am, and is also a hardcore boxing fan. We hang out, have a lot in common, and sometimes she comes over to the crib just to kick it; is it possible for us to have all of these things going for us and not feel some mutual attraction?

Let's add one more element to this picture. You are both in an exclusive relationship. So you're having long, thought provoking conversations with this person--as friends do; what’s stopping you from taking it to the next level? How is your significant other going to respond to you having this friendship?
And to take that even further, how are you going to respond to their relationship? Like I said, you're having long, thought provoking phone conversations with her on the regular. When the two of you hang up and her boyfriend inevitably either knocks it down, or your "friend" plays giddy up reverse cowgirl on him--you mean to tell me you're not going to feel some kind of way about that? Or if she shares those types of details with you, you won't care because you two are "just friends," right?... I highly doubt it.

In my opinion, the friend, in this case, regardless of sex, is the next person in line. ... A safety net on some level. No man on earth is going to be friends with a woman and be OK with the buddy title. Men are conquerors who need a challenge, and on some level women have the same qualities.
I’ll leave you with some thoughts from Steve Harvey, who I think sums this up nicely:






7 comments:

Hadassah said...

As much as I want to, I can't disagree. I've personally seen this scenario played out more times than I care to remember. Even if the original intentions were to be "just friends" feelings inevitably evolve into something more. It's best not purposely or accidentally go there.

Anonymous said...

Hmm, I think it go only so far. I've been friends with a higher mileage (30+dudes) woman for a couple of years now. She's very pleasant and interesting company, and we'd might even be a great couple (sure, I've thought about it). However, we only hang out in person every few weeks with a few texts or a call in between.

Now, there are several lines I won't cross, the thickest of which are STDs, religious differences, and multiple abortions (yes it DOES affect their self image) Too much for me to accept in a partner. Nor could I handle the full emotional baggage she brings. But something more casual is manageable.

Judah said...

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Age also has an impact. I believe as you get older you have less energy for the chase. Now since you have thought about it...Im sure she is thinking about it too. Eventually your friendship will hit that breaking point. You will want more or she will want more. Two people with common interest and who both are reasonably attractive will end up in a physical relationship or have a falling out. Another impact will be the placing of one of you in the friend zone. One of you will be a buddy.

Sang-A Riley Bae said...

My best friend is a guy and I used to like him (not anymore!) but I'm somewhat afraid of how our friendship will end up playing out when we're much older. Meh, whatever - it's God's will! haha~

Samson said...

@Sang Me personally, I can't see it. It seems like the older you get, the more serious your relationships get and all of that besties stuff goes out the window.

Rochelle said...

Can a man and woman be just friends? NO.

Judah said...

Agreed. Women use friendship as an emotional crutch. Men use it as an avenue to hook up. Those two actions will always produce conflicts. If everyone states their intentions from the jump wasting time and energy will decrease.

Post a Comment