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Thursday, March 31, 2011

Conquer life, conquer the Vajayjay

By Samson
Males are born with the insatiable desire to conquer things... It's just in us. Whether it's sports, business, goals, or women--this testosterone driven desire to "own" something makes us who we are. In earlier times, you had the kill of the day to squelsh this hunger to dominate.

We've evolved, but this need is still ingrained in us and manifests itself in projects and goals--fixing your car, toying with your motorcycle, going to the gun range, getting that promotion, making a killing off of a hot investment, etc. Not only do these conquests make you a better, more well-rounded person, they're necessary for fostering and KEEPING attraction during the human mating process. It's been scientifically proven that the go-getter with various projects to take on is likely to have higher testosterone levels than the guy who's content living in his mother's basement and playing Madden for hours.

Can you still get women and have a relationship living like the second guy? Sure. Can you get quality women by living like that guy? Debatable.

This isn't to say you have to walk around in Armani suits acting like you're living like an Entourage character, but it does mean that tapping into that innate manly need to go conquer the hell out of something is as important today as it was in the hunter-gatherer days. When you strip ANY aspect of dating and sex down to a pure survival level, you get this; Man (provider, protector, leader, backbone), Woman (nurturer, supporter, caretaker), etc. Displays that shows these traits will attract you to one another.

The guy with his stuff together and a clear vision shows the qualities of a protector and a leader. The woman that can cook and carry fabulous conversations with you shows that she can nourish the household and provide a place of comfort for her man when he comes home.

If you want to elevate your PQ, BE this guy, don't act like this guy. Show some interest in yourself. Make sure you're on your A-Game professionally and carve out clear visions for where you see your life going. Embrace your hobbies, not just the fun ones, but activities that are useful life skills. Becoming a better man, and having the drive to continuously conquer and improve is guaranteed PQ. And you won't have to walk around with a list of certifications or things you just accomplished, women will smell it on you.

They're very perceptive and can sniff out the weak man with no vision and that can't protect them. It's sexually attractive because sex is how we keep the population going on Earth, and showing these basic evolutionary traits (survival of the fittest) makes you the perfect suitor for a woman to want to mate with.

A woman said it herself in a song some years back, "Ambition makes me so horny..."

Go out and be a man and conquer the hell out of something.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Civil Rights vs. Gay Rights Movement? No comparison...

By Judah
I want to make this as clear as possible so there is no confusion:

I 100% believe in free will and our ability to do whatever we feel in our hearts to do.

If you want to lie, cheat, or steal that is fine by me.

If you want to live a holy life that is fine by me.

If two women or two men wish to spend their lives together that is A-OK in my book.

In life, God gives us choices, but those choice also have consequences.

What is not OK with me is comparing the struggles of American slavery, the raping of the black women, lynchings or Jim Crow to the gay rights movement.

I personally support anything that is positive and makes people happy, but when you compare it to something as real as African suffering and turmoil--I have a problem with that.

I had the privilege to learn about my family tree from my great grandfather when he was still alive. We talked about my line all the way from my niece to my great-great grandmother. We talked about her extensively, and her life during a specific conversation from which he revealed to me where she was from and where she was owned. This place was two miles up the road from where we were having lunch. This wasn’t some far off place in “Never Never Land”…This was right down the street. Another human being owned my grandmother less than 150 years ago. We talked more about her life, and the more I learned, the more it became very real to me, because I could put a name to the struggle.

Today there is a new form of civil rights going on. People who are gay wish to be married and have the benefits that come with the territory of being married. I’ve read in the media and the news about Gay Rights activists protesting the black community for not voting with or supporting the movement overwhelmingly or as a whole. Then a firestorm of media on the major networks asked why black people can’t see the correlation between the Civil Rights and Gay Rights movements.

It boggled my mind how the media, and now Gay Rights activists could compare the discrimination and suffering blacks faced to not being able to be married... So I had to turn the channel. I think back to my father and mother going to segregated schools, the fact that my great grandfather has green eyes, and that the “sacred” Constitution of the United States didn’t consider blacks whole human beings..

These thoughts don’t enter my mind on a daily basis, but when this topic pops up I get a little hot. People have a hard time understanding what really went down in the last 300 years and it bothers me. Check out ROOTS, THEN rethink those correlations.

Article: 7 Types of Women Men Should Avoid

I came across an article on Black Voices that I liked, dealing with 7 types of women men should avoid. Just thought I'd share. If you'd like, you can see the original article here.
1. The Religious Fanatic
There's nothing wrong with believing in a higher power. In fact, having a moral foundation makes for a good marriage and mother material for a man looking to settle down, but too much of anything can be, well, too much.
For someone that lives in a secular world, trying to mesh with a devout church girl can result in problems of biblical proportions. There's just a major conflict of interests when your woman's quoting verses from the book of Luke and you're quoting Uncle Luke verses. It's just not going to work, so unless you're ready to get sanctified, leave the religious girls alone, fellas.

2. The Marriage/Baby-Obsessed
If you've ever seen an episode of VH1's 'What Chilli Wants', then you have a prime example of this type of woman. It's perfectly fine to aspire to have a family, but not on the first date. Women like these tend to be focused more on the idea of the nuclear family and wedding than all the steps it takes to actually maintain a marriage, like getting to know someone.
When a woman looks at a man, she should see a potential partner, not a sperm donor. Sure, some women's biological clocks are ticking, but for some, it feels more like a stopwatch.

3. The Gold Digger
There's nothing wrong with a woman wanting financial security and assurances that their partner can provide for them and their future offspring. The problem is those women that don't bring anything to the table other than their looks and just expect a man to lay down the red carpet for them. Worst yet are those that specifically seek out men because of their bank account, looking for a big payday. Guys with no game tend to fall for these types by flashing more cash than personality. In time they'll eventually see the light, but hopefully, that's before they put a ring on it or she drops a kid, because then you're stuck splitting your paycheck with this broad for life.

4. The Angry Black Woman
Let's not pretend like she doesn't exist because we all know that she does. Any man that's come into contact with an ABW should know right away that she's not one to be messed with - or dated. There's nothing worse than spending time with someone that's mad at the world... all the time. Life is hard, but it gets a lot easier when a man keeps all ABWs in a friend box labeled "do not enter."

5. The Pretty Girl With Problems
Just because a woman is physically attractive doesn't mean she'll make a good partner. Take a look at Halle Berry and Christina Milian. Both women would top most celebrity MILF lists, but if you look at their respective dating histories, you'll see a pattern of bad relationships in their wake.
Sure, the guys in question played a role, but the common denominator is her. BBD said, "Never trust a big butt and a smile." Well, the same goes for a pretty girl with problems. Don't trust this type of woman to do anything other than give you a big headache.
6. The Stalker
A Thin Line Between Love and Hate and Fatal Attraction weren't just good movies; they were tutorials on what men should not do: date emotionally unstable women. Sometimes stalkers are hard to detect right off the bat, but when a woman starts popping up unexpectedly, acting overly needy and borders on being scary, it's time to extricate yourself from the situation - carefully. Whatever you do, don't just ignore her; women like that don't like being ignored.
7. The Party Girl
There's a big difference between being the life of the party and being a party girl. The latter is the type of woman that's shaking her tail feather every other night and getting sloppy drunk on the regular. Neither are qualities most men want in the future mother of their children.
If you're 21 and just looking for a good time, then a party girl might be right up your alley, but any grown man looking for a stable relationship need look elsewhere. I don't care what Usher says, most of us don't find true love in this club.
There it is, fellas, you've been forewarned. No matter how good she looks, if you happen to come across any of the above women during the course of your dating experiences, run the other way quick fast and in a hurry.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Judah's Update: Phone call from an ex

So last night I was chilling at the crib when I got a phone call from “Beth”.  Last time I mentioned  her, it was as an example of the challenges of learning as an adult.  So the phone rings and I look at the number calling my cell... I know the number obviously because I dated the girl for 6 months and I dialed it quite often.  

So as the phone is ringing I’m going through the reasons she may be calling:

Did something traumatic happen and she needs to speak to me?

Did she get a promotion at her job and want to share the good news?

Was she bored and just want to talk to me?

Did she miss me and finally understand she made an #EPICFAIL?

Did she simply want to see how I was doing?

All of these are good enough reasons for me to indulge my curiosity. So I decided to pick up the phone and say hello.  Now when we stopped seeing each other, I pretty much lost interest.  Like I said in an earlier post, I can’t be with a woman who isn’t willing to learn.

It may be a simplistic statement, but if you look a little deeper it is a major problem with people these days.  Everyone thinks they know everything until the walls come crashing down.  Take a little might save your life one day if you listen.

But anyways, we start off with some small talk as I give her the benefit of the doubt and engage her in a positive manner.  Five minutes into the conversation, I realize that she has nothing to say, which lets me cross off a couple of the theories off the list.  I now believe at this point she was either bored, missed me, or just wanted to keep tabs on me.  All of these theories at this point are filed under the #EPICFAIL category.  

I have changed a great deal since my college days, from which I first met her.  We were cool during school but didn’t really start kicking it until I was about to graduate.  Back in the day I would have coddled her...just stayed on the phone and allowed her to take her time and say whatever she needed to say.  This is not the person I am now.

Now I am more direct.  I really don't have time for bullshit ( Shout out to Breezy).  I am far beyond the person I was then.  I understand the value of time, energy and the worth of an honest word.  Although I know she is a cool girl, I am sure that I have no interest in any type of friendship with this woman.  

So during the conversation, I cut her off and point blank asked her the reason why she called me.  She said, “I don’t know.”  I understand this is a direct question and people suck at answering those, so I give her a moment to think about it.  Then I ask the same question again but this time I give her a reason why I am asking.  I tell her that I am cool with her calling me but explained to her that I have no interest in being friends with her, and that I am knee deep in my career and really don’t have time for this (Yes I’m an asshole, but I’m an asshole who is on a mission).  I told her I can’t wait til the 3rd phone call for her explanation, I need it now.  

“I miss you and want to get back with you, but I just want to be friends until I am ready.”

My first reaction was to laugh, but I didn’t want to offend her.  Basically she wants to have her chocolate cake and eat it too.  I am not interested in being the friend that beats it from time to time, nor am I interested in having long drawn out conversations with her while someone else is beating it.

I let her know that I appreciate her honesty, but that's not space I am in right now.  

I think two people can get back together if they put pride to the side, but this isn’t the case.  This woman is lonely for whatever reason and she wants some attention.  I am not the brother to give it to her and I explained this to her.  I didn’t say it in a mean or spiteful way, but in a way to explain to her it ain't going to happen.

Me letting her down like this isn’t about me #winning or being spiteful, but more so about me taking a step forward. I’m about quality women.  If I aspire to have it all, shouldn't I date someone who wants it all too?

Hands off the merchandise!

I've been following a thread on the forums that's beein going strong for a year called the "Don't touch your shit challenge."

Basically, it is what is sounds like. A poster issued a challenge/support group encouraging his fellow brethren not to fly solo. Reason being, the thread started pointed out, and many chimed in with research and opinions, in doing so, you tend to get in the habit of it, which lowers your testosterone levels, kills your libido and overall drive, causing you to be more lethargic and less assertive. I happened to be reading an e-book last night that was totally unrelated, and in one portion, a person advised his colleagues to refrain also, because it will kill their drive to go after their financial and business goals.

I think there may be something to this.

We live in a generation where you can log onto a computer and see a woman, or women do whatever your imagination can come up with. The line between fantasy and reality can get blurred if you over indulge and cause a disconnect between what your brain connects with and your reality. It's happened quickly.

In MY day (makes me sound old, doesn't it?) it wasn't so easy to come across that type of material. If anything, you had to stay up all night watching a boring movie on HBO that just so happened to have an 'N' marked under it's rating for nudity. And that scene lasted 5-10 seconds if you were lucky. But now you can type in a random nasty sounding URL and feed your brain whatever you want, which spoils you in a sense.

So getting into this habit, you walk out of the door already fed instead of hungry. That woman in the mini skirt doesn't excite you ass much because you're already full. And if you did want to approach her, you're not giving off strong pheromones and you lack the "killer instinct" you would have had. Not only that, but you go to work with paltry testosterone levels so you're not as assertive or driven.

For whatever reason, having sex doesn't have this same effect. Yes, you're getting your "release," but your brain knows the difference. Studies show that people with healthy sex lives are happier and do better in the workplace, so there's obviously more to this than an ejaculation.

The thread was informative but also hilarious. It was funny reading about guys who came into the challenge gung ho and then fell off the wagon five hours later because they were browsing and saw an article they liked, which had an attractive woman in the background, which led to Googling other attractive women, which led to looking for less clothed attractive women, which led to... well you see where this is going.

The poster encourages you to have sex with women, so the goal isn't celibacy. It's intended to create discipline that allows you to be at your absolute best.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Thought patterns between the sexes: 1 vs. 100

By Samson
I caught an old episode of 1 vs. 100 on the Gameshow Network this morning, which happened to be the first one where a person won the grand prize of $1 million. If you're not familiar, a person answers a variety of multiple choice questions, racking up dollars as they get them correct. The amount of money they get is based on how many in the 100 person "mob" got it wrong. Like Who Wants to be a Millionaire, they get a few lifelines to lean on also. Unlike millionaire, if you lose you go home with zero. There are no benchmarks, if you choose to keep playing and get the next question wrong, whoever in the mob hasn't been knocked out splits your would-be winnings.

Anyway, the episode I saw today was "Battle of the Sexes," so it was a guy going up against a 100 woman mob. The guy played with more guts than I would have, and had made it up to $250,000, making guesses along the way instead of burning his final lifeline. With about 20+ women in the mob left to take out, the question and answer that won the guy his million told a lot about how men and women think.

The question was; According to Hallmark, which holiday has the most card purchases? The options were A. Christmas, B. Mother's Day and C. Valentine's Day.

The guy chose Christmas. With Christmas being such a popular holiday, the guy had no clue this would be his million dollar question. The producers must have tipped off Bob Saget (the host), because he decided to show him how many people in the mob got the question wrong BEFORE letting him know whether he got the question right or not. They usually don't show this until the person gets it right, but in this case, ALL of the remaining women had gotten the question wrong, so this would decide whether he goes home a millionaire or as broke as he was coming in.

After some suspense, it was revealed that the guy was right, and some 20+ female mob members had chosen either Mother's Day or Valentine's Day. Hmmm, so what does this tell us? A man chose Christmas, the most popular holiday that men, women and children benefit from. A large group of women chose Mother's Day and Valentine's Day, both holidays that are female oriented.

I could have seen any of those answers being right, but because this episode was split into man vs. women, it was really apparent that the way they thought either won or cost them a million dollars. Since Christmas is a wildly popular holiday, it surprised me that out of some 30 women, not a single one of them thought to choose it. The guy even looked nervous and said he wasn't confident because he realized that the only possible way he could win is if out of 30 people, NOBODY picked Christmas. But just his luck, it was a very subtle gender oriented question, so he walked away rich.

Food for thought. There are tons of scenarios where the way males and females think come into play, but this example stood out to me almost like a case study. Interesting stuff.

Nothing Lasts Forever

By Judah

On my way back to my hometown I had a hard time finding some mood music for my drive. I pulled over to the side of the road and proceeded to open up my glove compartment and find something cruise to. I came across The Lost Tapes, an album by my favorite rapper Nas. I don’t listen to him as much as I use to but he is no less dope. Nothing Last Forever, was the fourth track on the classic disc.

Everything will eventually come to an end
So try to savor the moment, cuz time flies don't it
The beauty of life, you gotta make it last for the better
Cuz nothin' lasts forever ~ Nas

I once saw this line as Nas basically saying slow down and smell the roses. Sometimes you have to take a time out in life and enjoy what you have in front of you because it may not be here tomorrow. The 20 year old Judah and the 25 year old Judah may have less in common that I would think.

As I was driving up 95 I sat and thought about what the song means to me today. My analysis has changed a bit since I was the introspective young college kid. I believe the song is similar but has a different meaning. Since I was that kid, I am a little more worldly, read a few more books, and experience a deal of moments in life.

I believe Nas is saying one should confront his Mortality.

When you live through understanding your death two things happen.

First item that becomes clear is that you have a new found connection to all things organic. By understanding that all things God given will pass you will understand it’s connection to all life. We will all pass at different times and stages in life. This understanding will bring about a new found respect for the human experience.

Second, when you have this freedom the insignificant things become less and less important. The energy used on meaningless issues can be transferred to things that are important to you. A respect for time will also follow. Everyone likes down time, and the ability to unwind. This is completely understandable but there is a difference in taking a break and putting things off. There is nothing proper or acceptable about procrastination. When you put things off you will loose productive moments in your life that you will not be able to get back.

Saying I will live forever is an optimistic outlook on the life. It sounds nice...but it’s not realistic. Accept the ideal that one day you will pass just as all life and dive into your passions.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Mood Music Moments: It's a Cole World!

By Judah

So Samson has been obsessing over this new MC by the name of J. Cole for a while. Now I love music and the emotion it brings but I am very critical of what I allow my ears to listen to. I am not persuaded by the sheep that flock to iTunes to buy the latest hit record, but I listen to music based of critical reviews. I am a big fan of musicians, not pop stars.

I finally gave J. Cole a chance and played his latest mixtape. It’s hot to say the least. I am very impressed by his style, content, and overall talent. I picked “Dolla and a dream” from his older mixtape, “The Warm-up” as this week’s Mood Music Moment because it spoke to me. I have been there. Everyone dreams, goes through hard times, and finds the beauty in it, all at the same time. It’s a Cole world...

The Good Man vs. The Confused Man

By Samson
There are two kinds of men in the world; The Good Man, a man who is well-rounded and aware, and gets the most out of life, and The Confused Man, the type of man that has been misguided in the ways of manhood, and is still trying to learn the basics. Nobody's perfect, and manhood is a lifetime quest, but there are stark differences between these types of man, which are apparent in some of their actions.

The Good Man is in control of himself and his circumstances. The Confused Man is controlling, and tries to gain control by psuedo aggressive or passive agressive means. He's all bark, no bite, less balls. Instead of laying out his boundaries and goals, and controlling and achieving them, The Confused Man attempts to gain control in his environment by emotional outburst outbursts, pouting or unreasonable tactics. He's the guy who is insecure about his girlfriend so much as speaking to another male (and probably beats her).

The Good Man is in touch with his emotions. The Confused Man is in touch with his feminine side. We all have feelings, but no man should have a feminine side. Sensitive? Sure. A softer side? Of course. But having a feminine side means you express your feelings like a female. Today's new age man buys into a lot of the garbage that encourages you to get in a good cry whenever possible, or be emotionally needy. Everyone has needs, but The Confused Man expresses his in a needy way. You should be secure enough to cry or vent when you need to, but solid enough to not need a ton of emotional crutches and support systems.

Being in touch with your emotions is especially important for the most dangerous male emotionanger. There is no sadder sight than a testosterone fueled being with the emotional maturity of a 5-year-old. The Confused Man sees reckless anger as manly, but this couldn't be further from the truth. A real man can control his anger in day to day situations, because throwing "man tantrums" is just as disgusting as a sniveling punk who cries at the drop of a hat. People get hurt and killed every day due to men who have matured physicially but not emotionally.

The Good Man recognises whores for what they are. The Confused Man whore bashes for a self-esteem boost. If a woman who gets around isn't your wife or daughter, why not just let her live? You'll see a lot of confused men use this fault (If you want to whoreishness a fault. To each his own) to make them feel important because they now have a target they feel greater than, or worth more. 

This is the guy you see leading religious tyrades against a supposed whore a little too enthusiastically, or the one talking reckless to the chick minding her own business but dressed a little too provacotively (or slutty). It's the guy you can't take to Hooters because he says something rude to the waitress (and probably gets everyone's food spit on in the process) or beams the stripper with balled up, crumpled ones instead of tipping like everyone else. I'm not saying you have to turn into a "Captain Save-a-Hoe" by any means, but if youre the guy constantly feeling the need to OD on this type of stuff, that's a you problem.

Bottom line, a good man doesn't have to flex nuts, because he doesn't need to reach in his pants to know they're still there. You got to have a little bit of cavemen in you for sure, but when you don't have security in yourself as a man, you'll always find ways to tell on yourself.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

The sweetest science

By Judah

April 6, 1991 Tommy “The Hitman” Hearns knocked out Ken Atkins in the third round in Honolulu, Hawaii. This was my very first taste of the sport I fell in love with called boxing. I was 6 years old when the Hitman entered that squared ring, and in retrospect it was a wonderful experience.

My father, brother and I went and sat near the top of the bleachers that day, along with a modest crowd. I can remember my brother and father going nuts over this guy they called the Hitman. At the time I was a kid, and the only thing I was concerned with was super Mario Brothers 3 ( a classic) and this girl name Crystal who was in my kindergarten class. ( I told her I liked her and she said “Ew, yuck”... so fuck that bitch.)

I was too young to fully appreciate the opportunity given to me that day. After the Hitman laid out Atkins during the third round, my dad gave me a piece of paper and told me to run fast as I could to Tommy. There were police and bodyguards everywhere blocking the ring. I was small and quick enough that no one would catch me--and they didn’t.

I, for the most part, did everything my dad ever told me. Him being a strict military guy, I knew whatever punishment the world could bring didn’t compare to my father’s leather belt. So I ran straight for Tommy. I didn’t run to him because he is arguably one of the greatest pound for pound fighters who ever lived. I ran to Tommy ‘cause daddy told me to. So I dodged about three or four guards until they finally caught me. By the time I was stopped, I’d say I was a good 20 feet away from Tommy.

Looking back, it was one of the great moments in my life. I didn’t see it this way at the time ‘cause I was a kid and Crystal was occupying my mind. I see it as a special moment now because as a man boxing is everything to me.

To stand in the middle of a ring and go toe to toe with someone and match wits for 12 rounds is not an easy task. Most street fights last a few minutes, if that, and both parties are tired beyond measure. Imagine having to give full amounts of energy for 36-plus minutes. It takes the right balance of strength and conditioning to be able to perform this task.

Boxing is my favorite because its the only true sport where its you verse the other man. In a team sport an individual can be carried. In basketball a really good point guard can mask the faults or lack of skills of the front court. In football a decent running back and pick up the slack for an inaccurate quarterback. In boxing its man at his most primitive state..Survival totally dependent upon how well trained and prepared he is.

There are many different kinds of boxers from all over the world who contribute to the sport. Some are walk-down fighters who just keep coming forward and wear you down with their relentless pressure. Some fighters are built for speed and conditioning who attempt to win on points. Then there are the pure boxers who can do all of the above. It’s the sweetest science, which I love.

Don't get on rollercoasters

By Samson
If you've been in any kind of relationship with a woman, you've probably gone on or been taken on a rollercoaster ride at some point. Rollercoaster rides are those emotional "journeys" (to be nice) than she goes on before calming down and looking at things from a logical standpoint.

Now a lot of people say that men are creatures of logic, and women creatures of emotion. This is true to a certain extent. To say that all women NEVER use logic and have no use for it wouldn't just be sexist, it's also stupid. Some of the most intelligent movers and shakers in the world are women, and you don't get to that position by being an idiot. I'd argue that in personal situations, women get through it by focusing on emotion over logic. This doesn't mean that they don't care about logic in the situations, just that when they happen, emotion comes first and once they've worked their feelings out, solutions fall in line.

What does this mean? Don't try to fix it for her. Let her sort out whatever is going on in her head the way that works best for her. Trust me on this. You want to be there to encourage, reassure, or guide if needed, but the last thing you want to do is bust into her emotional place of coping with your logic guns blazing, trying to save the day on some Vietnam shit. What looks like a broken, emotional hazard zone to you is actually comfort to her.

In other words, when she looks like she's losing it (sometimes she might REALLY be losing it, but you should be able to tell the difference. Know your woman.) she's actually in a comfortable place. I read somewhere that some people actually use "depression" (I use quotes because I'm not talking depression in the clinical sense) as a coping mechanism, because it allows them to go through a range of emotions and FEEL something, at which point they can sort out their thoughts before leveling it out. It's not how your common man would deal with something, but that's why you're in a relationship with a woman, not a man.

What you want to do is let her know you're there if she needs you, and let her be. What you DON"T want to do is get as emotional as she is. That's a VERY bad idea. She needs you to add stabilization. You remaining calms allows her the comfort and freedom to spazz out and go through her range of emotions because she's in a "safe" place. If you're hyping the situation up by getting emotional too, not only do you make her uneasy, but you lose attractiveness because you're, well... acting like a woman. 

This can be tough, because if you're like me, you hate seeing your lady upset--but honestly, sometimes you just have to let them cry it out. If I drop dead tomorrow she'll still have the same emotions to deal with for the rest of her life, so why should I make a habit of jumping in and being her emotional fixer?

Stand your ground if she's taking a bad day out on you, but outside of that, don't be afraid to just chalk it up as her needing some time to calm down and sort things out before coming back to the world. If you stop everything to "have a talk" about why she's feeling that way, you're setting yourself up for frustration. Just stay cool, let her know you have her back, and let her go on that ride by herself. 

If you have a good woman, when she's back from that ride she'll be refreshed and thankful that you were there. Because if you did it right, you WERE there, even though you didn't go on that ride.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Thoughts on The Adjustment Bureau

The adjustment bureau is a new movie starring Matt Damon and Emily Blunt. Without giving away the plot I thought it was an excellent movie. It was a well developed idea that translated beautifully on the big screen.

The basic premise of the movie has to do with the debate of destiny vs free will.

Destiny is the basic principle that every moment happens for a reason within the grand design of the universe. Everything from the coffee you drink in the morning, to the time you wake up. … Whether you decide to wake up at 6 A.M or hit the snooze button, or if you decide to go for the W and talk to the receptionist down the hall at your job. Everything is predetermined and stamped in stone.

Free will is the thought that as humans we have total control over our lives and nothing is written in stone. Basically, you determine the course of your life and the impact it has on the universe, no matter how big or small an impact.

Personally I believe there is a little of both. There is a significant gray area in my opinion where both of these views merge. I think the Grand Architect of the Universe, God, has a purpose for us all that we can see to fruition. But along the way we may get derailed by that plan and he will put different people and situations in your path to help you get back on course.

In this movie the main character meets a girl as he is running for public office and makes an instant connection. As a result, he can’t get this girl out of his mind, as he’s engulfed in her whole being.

We can all relate to an instant connection. A moment when two people are completely in sync is an intoxicating feeling.

The problem Matt Damon’s character is having is that this woman is not included in his destiny or plan according to the powers that be. So during the course of the movie, he finds this girl at different points of his life and every time he reconnects with this woman fate pulls them apart...literally.

The science of the movie brought by the powers that be suggest that if he stays with this girl he will not be able to become president one day and he will not have the drive within himself to do great things via his determination.

Now I can understand this concept to a degree. When I am in a loving and comfortable relationship things become easier, the overall goals start to fade because you’re happy. You’re OK being who you are because you’re happy. This is the point the powers that be were trying to make to Matt Damon’s character.

I’m not going to give away too much of the movie, but everything from the way he sat, walked, talked or rationalized had a ripple of effect on his entire life. I don’t think that’s a far-off concept or hard to understand. Literally every choice in your life has an effect on the total outcome. The movie taught me to be more conscious of the things I do and to do it now! If you make the best choices now, I’d like to think you can produce some positive ripples within the course of your life.