Subscribe Twitter

Friday, May 13, 2011

Deal Breakers

By Judah

Adult relationships are interesting to say the least. For the past few weeks I have been talking to a woman with whom I’m fascinated with. We have a great deal in common and enjoying the possibilities, to keep it mild.

To quote the Love Jones guru Larenz Tate:

"Romance is about the possibility of things. You see it's about the time between when you first meet some fine woman and when you first make love to her. And when you first ask a woman to marry you and when she says I do.”

Side note: If you wanna pick up a few things here and there fellas watch this movie. No Doubt.

During the time you first meet someone, it can be very exciting. Your finishing each other’s sentences, finding limitless topics to discuss and it feels like your hit with a shot of Not that I have tasted heroin but I can understand the feeling.

Anyways, during one of our initial conversations she asked me what are my deal breakers. I had to sit down and think about it. Of course there are things about a woman that I want and things that I would like to stay away from. So I thought I might put together a list of 6 things that are important to me. If the woman of my interest does not have these qualities it would be a no go.


I want a woman who has the ability to take care of herself. As a man I believe it is my roll to be the protector and comforter on some level. Although this may be true, when I date a woman I am not looking for a damsel in distress. I am not interested in putting on a cape and playing superman. She was able to survive before we met, she should be able to support herself during and after if applicable. I have a boss at work and she is a very special woman. She is in her early 50’s and she always drops some knowledge on me while we are on lunch break. She said never to date a woman who has not lived on her own. At first, I was like every circumstance is unique and that is a hard line. But as I thought about it...the more it made sense. At my age (25) I should not be involving myself with someone who does not have some level of independence. A quicky is one but a relationship is another.

Physical fitness:

I am from the real south...where a woman being 200 plus pounds is normal. I have nothing against a curvey woman. I find it is more about energy and confidence than anything else. There have been some women in my life with a swag so real I was able to overlook a healthy frame. I love women in general. I can get down with a Rihanna or a Jordan Sparks. Riri has a small frame and Jordan is a healthy thick woman. I can appreciate both for different reasons.

Since I moved to northern Va I have been lazy. No if and or buts about it. I gained about 25 pounds since my move. But about a month ago I started working out again and have evened the playing field. I am down 18 pounds. I won’t be stopping at 25 pounds though..I plan on achieving model status before the summer is out. I wasn’t always a health nut, I enjoyed a few jr. bacon cheese burgers back in my But as I grow into maturity it is important for me to have a mate who also has the desire to be healthy. An activity partner perhaps. I like taking walks, lifting weights, jogging, and am starting to get into yoga. There is no way around it...having a healthy active lifestyle will lead to having a tight body.

Good Hygiene:

This is pretty straight forward and also correlates with physical fitness. When you take care of your body as a temple it will also translate into good hygiene. Unless it is 8 in the morning, or you just ate a sour cream taco, there is no reason not to have fresh or neutral breath. I am a big fan of girly girls. Women who enjoy being a woman. This includes keeping her hair together, nails, cloths, and overall appearance in check. If we are watching movies late at night and you have on a sweat shirt that is cool..but if we are going to a fancy dinner and you have on tom boy ass outfit we aint going to work.


This is a no There is a fine line between having a girl who is sexual and being a slut. A girl who is sexual wants to be sexy for her man and do things to please him as he would her. A slut is promiscuous and enjoys double dick clutching from time to time. But that’s a whole different topic meant for another blog post. Anyways, most men can agree with me that they would like a woman who is open in bed and not a prude. If a woman tells me she doesn’t give head with a straight I would look at her like she is insane.

Well Read:

I like a worldly woman. Someone who knows something I may not know. I love to learn..and who best to teach me something than the woman I share a bed with. Politics, religion, life, experience, people, places, things, ect. Someone who has lived and enjoys living and learning.


An honest woman goes a long way with me. A woman could tell me the most fucked up thing in the world..but if it is the truth she will have all of my respect.


Anonymous said...

The last two are difficult ones. Luckily, there are some honest women out there.

But women who read books other than magazines, harry potter or pulp novels are a rare find these days.

Anonymous said...

Good to hear from you Joe.
I thought the same thing brother. I think there can be honest women out there but at the end of the day we as humans will do whatever we can to survive or maintain.
Now as far as being well read. The woman I am currently seeing is well read and centered. I think that is why I am drawn to her. First one I have met in some time that will pick up a book. Also, I know your big on game. Take a look at this youtube..perhaps you can chop it up and teach the masses.

Rochelle said...

One of my top deal beakers: mama's boys....can't do it....

Anonymous said...

Interesting...Well I always thought a man who loves his mother is a reflection on how he would treat If he cant treat the woman who brought him in this world can he respect you?

Rochelle said...

Yes, you are right, but the problem I have are the ones that go to their mom for every little thing. I feel like, if we're in a serious relationship, why can't WE talk about whatever it is u need or, why go to mom first? If for some reason I can't help you, THEN go to mom....

Anonymous said...

I agree...sometimes friends and family can have an effect on a relationship. Reminds me of a jon b

Samson said...

Lol at "tomboy ass outfits" and "double dick clutching."

Great stuff though. I'll have to give my list.

Post a Comment