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Wednesday, April 6, 2011

I want a divorce

By Judah
According to  40-50% of all marriages will end in divorce.  This is scary statistic on many levels but isn’t too shocking if you take a closer look at how modern marriage is viewed.  Now statistics can be manipulated for whatever cause or agenda but even if the number is 30-40% that is still a large number that end in separation.  For example, out of a million marriages 300 thousand will end in divorce.  

       Age at marriage for those who divorce in America
Under 20 years old27.6%11.7%
20 to 24 years old36.6%38.8%
25 to 29 years old16.4%22.3%
30 to 34 years old8.5%11.6%
35 to 39 years old5.1%6.5%

After sitting back and analyzing these statistics a few questions popped up.

Is marriage viewed the same as it once was in generations past?

Marriage was more of a religious idea than anything else.  People were primarily married in a church under the guidance and direction of a religious figure. Marriage was thought of the merging of two beings into one.  One body, one home.  Today marriage can still be seen as a religious idea but now the secular world has taken a hold of it.  I don’t have a problem with government sanctions but one can not neglect the impact it has on the practice.  Marriage is seen as less of a divine union but more so a formality.  

Is sacrifice still a requirement on a  marriage application?

In these times narcissism is at an all time high.  Personal happiness outweighs the needs of the group or the family.  I feel as though when you are single and experiencing life another person’s feeling shouldn’t matter too much because you have to enjoy life.  But when you are married and or have children the word  “I” should not be used as much.  If you are more concerned with what you want rather than what is best for the family that your odds of being a statistic will drastically increase.  

Does a prenup kill the buzz?

I’m not against a prenuptial agreement because if I am 6 or 7 figures deep I would want to protect what I have worked hard for.  But I also understand that in getting the prenup it is accepting the idea that the marriage can fail.  This is another example of marriage being more of a formality and a business than a divine act.  The state can marry you and can also divorce you.  

Does your mate respect the process?

To do anything well in life one must work hard at it without complaint.  Yes, having success in a marriage or career is not as different as people may think.  It takes hard work to master anything or even come close to being an expert in a discipline.

I think a combination of selflessness and determination is a good start or at least will put you in the right direction.


Anonymous said...

I always associate marriage with feudalism. The pre-capitalist social order.

I think the institution itself is on the way out. This trend is especially pronounced here in the UK.

Ashley said...

very interesting point of view, as usual! love it!

Anonymous said...

Your right. Finance had much to do with marriage. Families joining forces was a business arrangement in those times. The idea of marriage is definitely loosing its luster.

Samson said...

I've always looked at marriage as a religious thing, and outside of the business aspect of it don't see why people get married if they don't have a particular faith. Lots of states have common law marriage rules on the books so you can get the same rights and privileges without being married.

Guy Chambliss said...

Those are shocking figures, indeed. I do agree with having a prenuptial agreement with your spouse. Because you'll never know what will happen. In spite of everything you've done, there could be a time that it will not work anymore. In that case, the best thing to do is to part ways. A prenupt will ensure that both of you will have a fair share. It will also save you a lot of money on legal bills.

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