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Monday, March 7, 2011

Women are mental, and other thoughts from Samson's weekend

By Samson
I work and live about four hours from my hometown, so it's always a treat to head back for a weekend. Now that I'm back on the Monday work grind, I've compiled some thoughts that the weekend happenings left me with.

1) Women are very mental creatures. I knew this before getting married, but after tying the knot almost 2 years ago it's only been reinforced. I don't know what it is, but like clockwork, every single time my wife and I head home for the weekend she's more "in the mood." Now since I'm a man it's nearly all visual or physical for me. Like a little kid, if I see something I like, I want it. Women are a little deeper than that. That's why men overwhelmingly go to strip clubs more than women, and women overwhelmingly read more romance novels.

Now I have an idea, but I'm still trying to figure out exactly what elements of going home do it for her. It could be hours of conversation that we have on the ride home, which allows us to form a connection. This time around, I think it was the warm feelings she was showered with by being around family. We went to a surprise party for her grandmother and it was awesome; good food, tons of relatives who she hadn't seen in some years and who I had never met. As a matter of fact, at some point during the party, she whispered in my ear how she wanted the night to end. ... Let's just say I was down like a clown Charlie Brown. On top of that, when it was time to head back on Sunday, we got off at our final exit and out of nowhere she hits me with "Wanna have sex?" Again, I'm not one to turn her down. What my lady wants, my lady gets.

But this is a pattern. I heard a saying some time ago that couldn't be more true; "Women need a reason, all men need is a place." I don't need the buildup or psychological backdrop to get me in the mood. And if I'm not in the mood it takes absolutely nothing to get me there. Not sure how it is with every woman, but in our marriage it seems like my wife has a meter--good feelings make the mercury in the meter rise until she gets to a certain point, and she wants to express those good feelings through sex. It's kind of interesting really. But I always like it when we go home.

2) The Bulls are legit. Anyone who knows me knows that they're my favorite basketball team. While The Heat went out and bought some good players, the Bulls are running through the league with players that are good but don't have the same star power (minus Derrick Rose). They've gotten to this level fast, and with Tom Thibodeau at the helm, I see them being a gatekeeper in the East for some years to come. I've had the most fun being a Bulls fan this year than I have since the dynasty years.

3) Parenting takes teamwork. My hat goes off to single mothers and fathers out there, but if there's ever a situation where a family can be kept intact I'd say keep it together at all costs. I noticed how my cousin-in-laws who are my age handle their 2-year-old little girl and it's a beautiful thing. She was well behaved and you can tell that they still have their fun but put her needs first. I'm really impressed by their teamwork and you can tell there is a lot of love and responsibility in that household.

The wife and I had a brief parenting moment that has me optimistic for when we decide to have kids. Our nephew is 5 and has apparently reached a whining, crying, talk back, tantrum-throwing, get what I want at all costs stage. She made a run to the beauty store, so me and the nephew stayed in the car. He said he was bored so I asked if he'd like to go in and walk around, he did. Now earlier, he had found about 30 cents in my car that I told him he could have. When we stepped out of the car he said he wanted to buy something, I told him it was a beauty store so there was nothing for him to buy. The kid absolutely lost it. I'm talking stomping, screaming, crying--the whole nine. This is before we ever got within 50 feet of the store. I wasn't about to take him inside just to manage his tantrums the whole time so I took him back to the car with the quickness.

My wife was finished and saw how he was acting when she got back to the car. From that point on it was a tag-team match of telling him to straighten up, ignoring his tantrum-induced threats and letting him know who's boss.

Nephew: I'm not going back with ya'll!

Wife: Fine, if you're not going back then we'll leave you here.

Me: You got a decision to make, either you come back with us and be good or you stay out here and live on the streets.

Nephew: Leave me here and see what happens!

Me: Alright then, get off my car. *Moves him off the door that he was leaning on, gets in and closes my door*

Nephew: *Pouts for about 5 seconds and then gets in the car*

Wife: If you're coming with us then you listen to what we tell you. Now buckle up.

*Nephew is quiet and obedient. Me and wife high five*

Don't see kids in our immediate future, but it felt good that brief moment to know that we can lay down the law by backing each other up and not letting our tempers get the best of us. In that situation, we could have just screamed on him and threw him in the car, but he wouldn't have learned accountability. He needed to see what an ass he was being, see that it wouldn't get him what he wanted, and live with the consequences of his decision. That's life, pure and simple.


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