Mood Music Moment: U know whats up

By Judah

We have been a little M.I.A with the blog the last few weeks so I thought I might update you on whats going on in my life and give you some Mood Music while I am at it.

This weeks Mood Music Moment cut is brought to you by Donell Jones from his second album Where I Wanna Be. The song U Know Whats Up is a classic record with vocals by Donell and co-written by Anthony Hamilton. The song is about coming across a female that you are drawn to without question.

I was recently exposed a young lady about a week ago I didn’t expect to meet. Basically I connected with her on a mental level that I haven’t had the pleasure of experiencing in quiet some time.

I have written many a post about the interactions between man and woman. In these post I argue that man and woman can not be friends. I implore readers not to get caught up in being friends with a woman and to make your intentions known. I have abandoned this thought process in this case...lol I’m going to write about this in more detail later but for the moment enjoy the Mood Music.

Samson's Turn On's/Turn Off's: Potty mouthed women

By Samson

Turn On:

A woman who curses sparingly, but uses great timing and placement whenever she feels the need to. Could be a joke, could be a moment of anger, could be when it's "business time," but certain scenarios make it appealing. I don't know why, but a woman who has a normally clean mouth that suddenly turns into a potty mouth every now and then can be the sexiest thing in the world. I know, I'm weird.

Turn Off:

A woman who curses like a sailor for no rhyme and reason. Now I'm no prude, it doesn't offend me if a woman curses a lot, it doesn't turn me off. But if it reaches the level where it sounds like she's trying to curse, of if every other word out of her mouth is profanity, that ain't sexy... ESPECIALLY when you can just tell that it's not "her" (you can always tell).

The best example of overdoing it I can think of happened a few years ago when I was in Baltimore for the weekend for a seminar. I was talking to a female colleague who happened to be light skinned. She was black, but could have passed for hispanic or another ethnicity. I don't know how we got on that topic, but she mentioned that she has a good mix of ethnicities in her family tree, hence her somewhat racially ambiguous appearance. But that's not how she said it.... THIS is exactly how she said it:

"I got a lot of shit in my ass!"

That's right... Not, "I have a good ethnic mix in my bloodline," or even "I'm mixed with a lot." No... I got a lot of SHIT... in my ASS.

When I couldn't stop laughing she had no idea what was so funny. And that's the point. When you curse THAT much, you're desensitized to the point that you don't even realize that you may be saying something you don't mean to say.

Must Be 2 Sides

By Judah

The human experience is so fascinating to me. I love not only to experience life by meeting different people, opening myself up to different ways of thinking, traveling, or simply just trying something new. I also enjoy observing other’s behavior, attraction, hate, love, fear, and everything in between.

When we first started this blog I traveled about 3 hours to Samson’s house to lay the ground work on what we all know as 2 Cent Tab. When I walked into his home we shared a hand shake as brothers do and started right off having a discussion.

We didn’t start off talking about the blog but more so spoke on a variety of issues. Whenever we meet up we usually start off with a conversation on world events, politics, religion, and the all so interesting topic of knowledge of self.

FYI:

Knowledge of Self: Inherent information about one’s self, with respect to his place in the universe. We all have a degree of knowledge of self; some more than others. Within these varying degrees we have an idea about the true nature of how we should live.

Anyways, these conversations can last for hours. The purpose for these discussions are not to be overly philosophical but to simply share information. We don’t see each other often so when we get up we regurgitate everything we have learned and experienced.


But there must be two sides. As much as I enjoyed the deep conversations I have with Samson, I equally enjoyed cutting up and acting a fool. That night we went out to the bar and started to wild out. I thoroughly enjoy having a drink with a good friend in the presence of beautiful women. When I go out with friends, be it at a club or a bar, I am not interested in hearing introspective music, but I would like to hear some Waka Flocka or Gucci Mane.

For example:




Yes, I believe we are made in the image of God and that comes with GREAT responsibility, but as humans less than God, we have animal instincts. Why do I like a fat ass? I couldn’t tell you. ( Not fat a chick..but a nice well proportioned ass.)

I have been in situations in school from which I would go to these parties and cut up and have a really good time. For example, one semester I did a lot of partying and it was epic. The next semester I had a philosophy class in which some people recognized me. In this class the teacher likes a good debate, so of course I went in! The girls that recognized me couldn’t believe I was the same person taking keg shots and getting lifted. Of course I used that to my advantage--but that’s another story... But in this case there must be two sides....Sometimes I feel like I am Malcolm X... Sometimes I feel like I am Gucci Mane.

A recap of Samson's epic weekend

By Samson

Better late than never, but I think now is as good a time as any to recap my weekend and share any thoughts along the way...

On Friday, I got up with my partner in crime and co-author of this blog, the world famous Renaissance Man himself, Judah. We're from the same city and went to high school and college together, but currently live about three hours apart, so we pretty frequently meet up at "home base" whenever we can. My main purpose to go back home was to hang out with another longtime friend who is leaving for military orders elsewhere in about three days (That was Saturday, I'll get to that in a few).

Judah and I decided to meet up at our favorite watering hole to grab a brew and catch up a little. His drive back home is a lot shorter than mine, so he got to the bar before I did and was already a few drinks in. He texted me beforehand to let me know that the bartender was cute, and his attempt to flirt was cut short when he mentioned his love for Prince... apparently she's an MJ fan. I showed up a little while later and as usual, we talked about everything under the sun. I did notice that the bartender was particularly attractive, and no matter where the conversation went, it always found a way to circulate back to her.

There are plenty of attractive women out there, but I think she stood out because she was a different kind of attractive... Had a little extra weight (in a good way), wore glasses, cute smile, but mainly it was the personality. She was pretty spunky and seemed like the type of chick you could just hang out with and enjoy in any setting. I tend to have a thing for quirky chicks, hence my guilty pleasure fascination with comedian Sarah Silverman.

I thought the bartender was attractive, but I think Judah was feeling her on a whole different level than I was. It was funny how he broke it down to a science why she was a WOMAN, and different from other females you run into from time to time. I totally felt where he was coming from. The part that still makes me laugh is how two people can have such an in depth conversation about a stranger with her totally unaware.

If she had ANY idea how deep our conversation went she might have asked someone else to finish her shift. Or she might have just laughed it off or busted our balls about it, because she did seem like the cool type. But basically, within the 2-3 hours we were at the bar, we had figured out what kind of personality she had, what her family situation was, the types of dudes she probably dated, what she was like in bed, what kind of mother she would be, how she would react to adverse situations in a relationship, how many kids she and Judah would have and wondered if her cool demeanor was covering a shallow personality. ... And I deduced that if a woman has a nice body, it's impossible not to get a peek. Each time she came to bring me something, I was like, alright, I'm not going to look this time. But without fail, it played out like this each time:

Bartender: Here you go baby, *hands Samson his burger and fries*

Samson: Thank you very much *eyes wander to cleavage as she places the plate down* ..... DOH!

Bartender: What was that?

Samson: Oh nothing, I just coughed. Could I have some ketchup for my fries please?

Bartender: Sure thing sweetie *Bends down to grab a bottle out of the mini fridge*

Samson: *Eyes wander to her butt...*

Bartender: *Turns around .5 seconds later with the ketchup bottle in hand and a knowing look in her eyes*

Samson: $!@%


It's just impossible....


Anyway, Judah and I had a good time catching up as always, and probably got a few blog posts out of the conversations we had. Fast forward to Saturday and I'm supposed to be heading out that night to get up with my friend Brandon who lives about 40 minutes away. Like I said, he'll soon be gone for two years, so I wanted to send him out in style. Another close friend of mine, JT, wanted to make the trip because he's cool with Brandon also. So after a bunch of texts, the gameplan was to meet up around 9, go to the club to get wristbands (it's free before 9:30), and head back to Brandon's place (He lives across the street) and have a few drinks so that we're not running up expensive bar tabs. As you can see, we're all about free. Gotta beat the system, it's a recession.

JT and I get up there and I go into snack mode because I hadn't eaten much that day. If was going to be having even half a drink I didn't want to do it on an empty stomach. After I munch on oatmeal and pretzels we head out to get our wristbands. Brandon bought JT and I a couple of drinks and thanked us for coming out to spend his last weekend with him, classy guy. Before we leave, one of my homegirls from high school starts texting asking if she should make the drive to come hang out with us. She knew I was in town for the weekend and also knew that Brandon was leaving soon, so she thought it'd be a good idea to have a little bit of a reunion, since all four of us went to high school together.

When we got back to Brandon's place, he immediately starts fixing everybody drinks. There were a good eight other guys in the apartment that he was friends with that were also hitting the club with us. Brandon has a really nice apartment and his bar is fully equipped. Since he's leaving, every bottle had to go... In between drinks and hardcore snack mode (at this point I was eating everything from Saltine crackers and pretzels, to oatmeal, granola bars and lunch meat), I'm coordinating between Brandon and my female friend from high school, we'll call her Tiffany.

Tiffany really wants to make the trip but she isn't sure whether she should, since Brandon has a house full of like 12 dudes going to the club and she'd be the only woman. Brandon seemed really distracted so I jumped in and texted her telling her she should come. Since she's also married, I was the default married guy that she'd be able to spend time with if she felt out of place. And outside of that, I hadn't seen her since she came to my wedding so it'd be good to catch up.

A little before midnight we decide to head out. Coincidentally, I had just gotten a call from Tiffany saying she was in the club and asking if we had gotten there yet. We walk over and immediately hit the bar. I bought me and JT a Grey Goose and Redbull for $24... (!!!!!). I can probably get my oil changed for that... After circulating around the dance floor a few times we run into Tiffany, and it was all hugs and smiles. We hadn't seen each other in two years.

Throughout the night, JT and I pretty much hung with Tiffany the whole time, as the pack of Brandon and his other friends did damage throughout the club. There was a lot of laughing and joking, dancing and talking about old times, an all around good night. When it was closing time, I walked Tiffany to her car and she was supposed to take me back to Brandon's apartment. I wasn't the most help because I couldn't tell her how to get back there. Brandon wasn't answering his phone... Eventually she found it and I got out and she went back home after a fun time hanging out.

[Sidebar about the Tiffany portion of the night]

It's really funny how people evolve in just a few years. While I had last seen Tiffany two years ago, we really didn't truly get to catch up or say a whole lot to each other. It was my wedding, so of course I had my hands tied and a lot of people to see and thank for coming. Before that day, outside of a random run-in at Wal-Mart, the last time I had spent a decent amount of time around her was about 5 years ago, when she came to visit me in college so we could hit up a house party down the street from my apartment. So for the past few years we've mainly just been keeping in contact through text message.

And basically, the last time she had actually and truly spent time with me I was only a little removed from being a teenager. She mentioned in a text the next day that she had fun catching up, but also mentioned that I was slightly different from the Samson she remembered. Not to say that I grew up and got "brand new", but that I'm a little more raw than I was when we used to talk regularly. I hadn't thought about it or noticed it, but I know she's right. I blame entering the work force and taking on adult responsibilities... Haha, nah...

Honestly, I'm the same guy but I guess to sum it up I was a boy then and now I'm a man. I have a little clearer outlook on the world and have been through a little more, so I guess I have more of an edge to me than I did before. She even said in high school I was more timid when I spoke to her... Guess those days are over. I dern sure don't have it all figured out yet and I'm sure I still have a few insecurities like anybody does, but I'm at a place where I know who I am and am confident and comfortable in my own skin as a man and a person. It's a beautiful feeling.


[Back to the main story]

When we got back from the club it was around 2 a.m. I remember hitting the bed immediately, and so did JT, who had already crashed. I didn't plan on going to sleep yet, but I guess my body went into auto-pilot and said "OK man, lay down," so I did... Brandon busted in the room on a phone call and told me he was on the phone with none other than my high school sweetheart who I also dated for half of college... We'll call her Lisa.

OK... wasn't expecting this. We didn't break up on the best of terms, and on my end of things anger would have been an accurate way to describe how I felt after it went down. I literally hadn't seen her since 5 years ago when we broke up. I had spoken to her once or twice--she got in touch a few years ago to let me know about a family emergency she had that she knew I would care about. Aside from that, she sent me a Facebook message congratulating me on graduating college a year or so ago, because I had run into her sister at a bar and we chatted for a bit.

Anyway, Brandon says "Someone wants to talk to you" and handed me the phone. I chat with Lisa for a couple minutes, just asking her how she's doing and whatnot, before handing Brandon the phone again. He tells me she's going to come through. Ha, definitely wasn't expecting this. Haven't seen my ex in 5 years and now all of a sudden at 3 a.m. she's going to be stopping by. Interesting night indeed.

Fast forward about an hour and leaving out some of the funniest parts of the story on how I spent my time the next hour or so [Gotta keep some things to myself...lol], and Lisa shows up downstairs. Brandon had left for a bit and had just gotten back when she arrived. I go downstairs and say what's up to Lisa. The first minute or so of the conversation was pretty much just chatter asking what's new with each other.

The whole situation tickled me because like I said, we didn't end it on the happiest of terms, so I had no idea how I'd react when we actually saw each other again. But to make a long story short, it was all good. I told her to come with me upstairs so we can catch up on life. I gave her a hard time about a few things, and it was sort of surreal. I think any time the conversation turned normal, something in my brain said "OH SHIT DAWG, YOU'RE TALKING TO LISA!" and I just started laughing.

At the end of the day it was good seeing her, not just because it had been a while, but I think it was refreshing to be at a place in your life where you're not bothered by things that used to bother you. If you had asked me 5 years ago how I'd react, I would have told you something different. But like I said with the Tiffany situation, being removed from situations for a while you tend to grow. It would be ridiculous for me, as a 25-year-old married man to spaz out or still be angry at something I felt a certain way about when I was 20. So to be in the presence of the woman you used to feel ill will toward and to enjoy joking with her and giving her a hard time shows that a lot of growth happens in short periods of time, so you can't remain stuck in one place while life is moving forward. She's happy with her life and I'm happy with mine, so neither of us had any reason to be anything but friendly toward each other.

So yeah, all in all it was a great weekend. A lot of Ghosts from Christmas Past made appearances, had a good time with my good friends, and all in all felt good about how it went down. I think I went to sleep at about 5:30 a.m. and got up at 8:30 a.m., so I have no idea how I made the 4-hour drive back to where I live now without so much as a nap. But I made it, and rolled into the work week with some laughs, memorable conversations and thanking God that I'm alive.

Mood Music Moments: Party Life

By Judah

It was coming...you knew it. Only a matter of time before the greatest MC of all time graced his presence in Mood Music Moments.

Regardless of circumstance Jay-z is the most consistent rapper of all time. Jay-z is 12 plus albums in the game and still is producing heat. Jay-z's work ethic is the total embodiment of mastering a craft.

Today we have a cut from the album American Gangster. Party Life is a grown and sexy record with an R&B touch. I can appreciate Jay-z due to the fact that as he grows as an artist I have had the pleasure of growing with him. The older you become the more experiences and situations mold your perspective. At one point he was rapping about guns, coke, weed, and hoes. Now at this stage of his life he has calmed down a bit and is now rapping about things relevant to his life.

This track is about confidence. You control how your universe views you. If you want people within your environment to respond to you, one must project the desired energy.

Practical Application

By Judah

We give a lot of theory on this blog for the most part so I thought I might throw in some application.

I’m really big on self-assessment. The practice of taking inventory of your skills, personality, choices, and appearance. It’s good to take an honest look in the mirror from time to time and attempt to give an objective opinion about one’s self. This isn’t an easy practice by any means. Sometimes we make excuses for better or worse.

So, I did a little self-assessment myself this week before I went to work. My career game is on track and I’m making the proper connections and continuously mastering my craft by learning from other’s with more experiences and keeping up with the changes within my field. Spiritually, I know the importance of having a personal relationship with my creator and I am satisfied with the progress I am making everyday. Also, I develop my mind on the daily by exposing myself to new ways of thinking by picking up literature on a variety of topics. Right now I am tackling the new biography of the life of Malcolm X by Manning Marable. Eventually I am going to do a review on that so stay tuned.

The aspect of my life I am currently lacking is the physical. Before I moved to the DMV I worked at a job that gave me some crazy hours. Basically, I was on call 24 hours a day. As crazy as that job was it allowed focus on a variety of things such as my career which allowed me to get a better job in the first place. One of the things I was able to do was lift weights.

Now as a 25 year old male I must admit I was rather weak compared to those in my age group. So I thought why not bulk up? I went to the store and bought a supply of protein shakes. After I guzzled down a shake I hit the weights hard and in three months time I doubled my work rate. I’m one of those people that if I have a goal I can become obsessive to a degree and in this case it paid off.

Fast forward, I got the call from the company out in Northern VA and took the job. It was a great choice and I couldn’t be happier with my decision. The only downside was that I didn’t have or didn’t find the time to keep up my work out regiment and my body suffered.

So last Wednesday I looked in the mirror and the scale and realized that I gained a good 20 pounds since my move. I didn’t look like I gained that much but the combination of loosing that muscle and gaining fat took effect.

Instead of sulking I laughed for a moment and asked myself what I was going to do about my problem. I knew I didn’t have time to hit the weights hard so I thought the easiest way was to start slow for the time being.

My first thought was if I can’t dedicate hours at the gym, at least I could do some workouts at home. So, I found a crazy ab workout video by Manny Pacquiao and went in! For the time being I am unable to keep up with him but I believe as I continue to develop my wind I have no doubt in my mind I can complete the exercise.

Second, I thought about how I was going to drop some of my unnecessary fat in a timely fashion. I have a track where I work and many people take off their slacks and collar shirts and throw on some shorts to have a run. At first I was apprehensive about running since I hadn't done it in awhile and I was worried that my legs were not going to be able to carry the weight.

Good News....I was wrong. I was able to run a full mile without stopping and I feel like I could have done more. It felt good that my wind was not totally shot and I’m closer to getting back my build.



I have a lot going on in my life right now but having the total package is important to me. I talk a big game about being a well developed person but I also enjoy the challenge of practicing what I preach.

Crisis averted because I didn't get on the rollercoaster

By Samson

Remember how I told you before not to get on rollercoasters?

I had an experience with this last night. My wife is finishing up a degree, and had a test that she was pulling an all nighter for. To make a long story short, there was weeping and gnashing of teeth, questioning the meaning of life, and at one point, she had a break down and wondered whether she would achieve greatness or live life as an average person. What began for my dear wife as a legitimately difficult upcoming test for which she was having trouble understanding the information became something so much bigger.

I remained calm, allowed her to vent without injecting too much of "let me fix your problem for you" instinct. When she needed hugs she got them, when she needed encouragement it was received. When she needed to cry it out I left her alone.

Fast forward to about 30 minutes ago, she was e-mailing her professor on something unrelated, and guess what he said?

"VERY good job on your test today."

............. @#$@#$!$$$!

Rollercoasters. Don't get on them.

Only women are allowed to be indecisive

By Samson

If you're a halfway decent guy, you've been in a position where a woman has deferred to you our sought your opinion or guidance on a particular matter. In the scope of a relationship, these decisions serve a greater purpose than just getting something done or offering an opinion, they're essential building blocks to establishing and maintaining PQ.

If your girlfriend or wife has ever asked for your opinion on something with big, semi-dialated eyes, frozen in place awaiting the pearls of wisdom that will surely sprout from your mouth, and you just shrugged and said "I don't know" or "That's a tough one. What do you think?"--congratulations, you failed miserably. Stay on the line to collect your prize of being an unopinionated chump with a lack of direction. That's harsh, but in those moments, she's placing high value on your thought process as the man of the house/relationship, so it's important that you show her what you're made of.

This doesn't mean every single time she asks you a question the fate of your relationship hangs in the balance... But when these "Lead me please" moments occur, it's important to step up to the plate.

Women are naturally submissive. If you have faith in an Abrahamic religion, the reason for women's submission may be because Eve bit the apple. If you're a pragmatist, you may say this reason lies in the way women have been socialized in society. No matter how you slice it, the most powerful, educated woman wants a man to take control in certain situations and is often happy to defer to her mate in certain situations. It's the reason they want to get rich but still have a man that can take care of them (not just talking financial). It's the reason moms all over tell their kids to "Ask your dad," in situations where a request may not jibe with the rules of the household. It's certainly not because men are smarter than women; females have increasingly proven themselves to be quick learners in the classroom and attend college at a drastically higher rate than their male counterparts. It's simply nature.

So in essence, calling shots is a way to build attraction in the eyes of your woman. It's what she wants you to do, and she takes joy in fulfilling her role while allowing you to fulfill yours. If you strip away the clothes, perfumes, material items and "'game", just having an environment where a man is being a "man" and a woman is being a "woman" is enough to build sexual attraction and tension. Even though you're just living your life, it's almost as if you're characters in a play, playing out your roles until the exciting conclusion. Fulfilling these roles on a consistent basis is an act of foreplay.

Picture this. You get home from work, decked out in your business clothes and toss your stuff aside [+PQ, man points for your Alpha male clothes and a succesful day at work]. Your wife got off a little earlier than you and is just relaxing, reading a book, watching TV whatever. You give her a quick kiss and ask her how her day was. She tells you, but something is on her mind. She's indecisive on something and wants your opinion. It's one of those wide-eyed, "I really want to know what you think" moments (see above).

You, (decked out in your Alpha man gear of course) answer the question authoratively, making sure not to give wishy washy answers. Even if parts of the answer aren't something she would totally agree with, you give your opinion, allowing her to use it how she will. She values and respects your answer [+PQ]. She respects your opinion and shows that you helped her out, and compliments you on your insight [+Woman points, hey we all need ego boosts, right?]. Another quick kiss, and you playfully demand some type of dinner. "How bout steak?", "You can repay me by feeding me," ... whatever. She complies. [+PQ, playfulness, making a request like a man instead of asking like a child].

You head off to change out of your work clothes as she goes to the kitchen to start preparing something [+Woman points. Men and women can be equally good cooks, but cooking something for a man is a gesture]. You come out as she's cooking (in your boxers) and pull the move every married/man living with his woman NEEDS to know... You come up behind her while she's cooking and press yourself against her, give her a few soft kisses on the neck and cheek, and (with some bass on your voice) say something along the lines of "Man, this smells good....", followed by another kiss if you'd like. [+++++++++PQ!!!!!!! You're not complimenting the food, you're really complimenting her worth as a woman] and [+Woman points, she's showing some ability and is doing a good job of preparing something nourishing for you, her man].

You give her a swift, playful smack her on the butt [+PQ, another very important man move, flirtatious, establishes dominance and is playful] and go about your business. [+PQ for going about your business, not smothering her and giving space to allow the tension to build]. A delicious dinner, some wine perhaps, and some laughs later, how do you think the night will end?

You didn't spend a bunch of money. You didn't wine and dine her with flowers or candy. You established yourself as a man by giving an honest answer, and built on it. All the extracuriccular is nice, but when in doubt, be a man and the rest will follow.

Thanks are in order

Thanks to all the readers who have taken out to check out our blog.  

Whether you’ve agreed or disagreed with us, we appreciate it. We’re a little over a month in and wanted to give a special shout out to all of those who  have commented:

Various anonymous readers,  Rochelle, Hadassa, Ashley, and the progressive blogger straight out of the UK, Workshy Joe.

We are a good 45 posts in and wanted to highlight a few that new readers may want to go back and take a look at, really great stuff...

Judah:

Hitting the snooze button
Let’s Build: The flow of energy
I have a penis, you have a vagina. We can’t be friends...
Hes just my buddy!!!!
Story of one of my exes: Good could be better, learning how to learn.

Samson:

Tapping into your animal instincts
Getting right for the summer
The rules of attraction: Understanding PQ
An Oklahoma gem hidden from the history books
Do or die: Holding onto your Mojo


We’ve also gotten some articles accepted to Ezinearticles.com:

http://ezinearticles.com/?Tapping-Into-Your-Animal-Instincts&id=6122283
http://ezinearticles.com/?Getting-Right-for-the-Summer&id=6122209
http://ezinearticles.com/?Do-or-Die:-Holding-Onto-Your-Mojo&id=6122187
http://ezinearticles.com/?Dont-Get-on-Rollercoasters&id=6122348
http://ezinearticles.com/?An-Oklahoma-Gem-Hidden-From-the-History-Books&id=6122323

Keep reading, keep commenting and let us know how you feel.

Mood Music Moments: That's Not My Name!

By Judah
This weeks Mood Music Moment is brought to you by The Ting Tings. That’s Not My Name is off their debut album We Started Nothing.


So I talked to Samson the other day about the direction of 2 Cent Tab and Mood Music Moments. I have known Samson since high school so he knows I have all types of music in my cd player. He challenged me to post music from a different genre each week. I like The Ting Tings. Their album is dope. Its a catchy feel good song.

The premise of the song is that she gets hit on every other minute...its one of the drawbacks from being attractive. Men call her out her name all the time. She is letting you what procedure is...”call me by my proper name when you address me”...lol Gotta love those Brits.

Brother Malcolm

By Judah
There is a new biography on Malcolm X that just hit stores by a celebrated author named Manning Marable. The title of the book is Malcolm X: A Life of Reinvention. This book is suppose to be Marable’s life work and that in itself is something that I can truly respect. When you dedicate yourself to a craft and spend endless hours of dreg work perfecting it, I can admire that. This book is suppose to shed more light on the life and death of one of our most important civil rights activist brother Malcolm.

Before we get into the controversy behind the book I’d like to share how Malcolm personally effected my life even though he died decades before I was brought into this world. My favorite rapper by the name of Nas would had a tendency of teaching in his rhymes even though he didn’t always intend to do so. He would rap about topics such as knowledge of self, knowledge, wisdom, understanding, and supreme mathematics. Since he was my favorite MC I became fascinated by the subject matter that I never even heard of. As the inquisitive teen I was, I researched everything I could about the subject. In my research I came across the 5 Percent Nation and learned about their “Lessons”.

In learning the lessons I found that there were somethings I agreed with and some that I didn’t but it was the first time I came across points of views that were different from my own and those in my surroundings. From there I learned about the founder of the movement who went by the name Clarence 13x. He was the first person who taught these lessons to the masses outside the Nation of Islam.

Clarence 13x, before he started to bring about the movement  of the 5 Percenters, he was a member of the Nation of Islam. During this time he was a member of the mosque where Malcolm X was a minster. This was the first time I had heard about Malcolm X that wasn’t in a text book where he was was portrayed as a renegade or hateful man. It was another point of view of his life that I had not seen before. People love them some Martin and equally love to throw some shad on Malcolm.

During this particular time HBO started to play Malcolm X the movie starring Denzel Washington. It instantly became one of my favorite movies. This is probably Denzel’s greatest role. He really dug deep and played that role well. If he was ever to win an Oscar it should have been for that masterful portrayal rather than him playing a dirty cop in Training Day.

At this time I am a freshman in college and my brother called  my cell phone telling me about this book that he read. It was Malcolm's Autobiography as told by Alex Haley. The next week I come back from a dorm party and my roommate is sitting in his room reading the book. We never really talked about the subject before so I thought it was odd that he was reading something that I had been considering picking up also. A little later my girl friend at the time tells me she is thinking about reading book also. It is the same case in that we didn’t talk much about the subject expect some small talk here and there.

So now all of these people in my everyday life individually take it upon themselves to read this book. It was at this time my turn. So over the holiday break I open up the book and started to read. After I put down the book my life was never the same.

I value two books in my life. One being the King James bible from which I learn of the concept and love of God, the impact of sin, and repentance. The other book is The Autobiography of Malcolm X. In this book I learned about the importance of being well read, understanding history, respecting the concept of time, and how to be a man of character in this world. Passion....I learned a great deal about passion.

In a nutshell I value Malcolm. I have reread the book probably a dozen time and could most likely break down his life of the top of the head because I can appreciate and understand his worth to the world.

Now, there is a new book about the life of Malcolm and there is a bit of controversy lingering. There are many claims that this brook brings about but the one that I would like to focus on is his sexuality. The author states Malcolm had many homosexual relationships throughout his childhood and early adulthood while he was hustling in the streets. He also claims that he preformed sexual favors to men for money.

Personally after reading his first biography with Alex Hailey I understood the nature of his hustling in the sense that Malcolm had done and seen everything under the sun in the mean streets of Detroit. He was coked out of his mind and lived that lifestyle. In jail he was able to sober up and learn a new way of life that helped him become the man he was meant to be. After he joined the Nation of Islam he eventually met his wife by the name of Betty and had several children. Does this mean he stopped being Gay? I don’t know if he was or was not but I can say that one shouldn’t look at such things in focus. The light of Malcolm was his teaching and work within civil rights.

He had a deep love for his fellow man and died trying to undo 300 years of conditioning. Whether he liked men or women has nothing to do with his contribution to society nor should he be the poster boy of a sexual movement. My hope is that this new book will spark an interest in his life that will encourage people to examine his life and learn something. If not learn, form an educated opinion as to why you may not agree with him based on factual information.

I want a divorce

By Judah
According to divorcerate.org  40-50% of all marriages will end in divorce.  This is scary statistic on many levels but isn’t too shocking if you take a closer look at how modern marriage is viewed.  Now statistics can be manipulated for whatever cause or agenda but even if the number is 30-40% that is still a large number that end in separation.  For example, out of a million marriages 300 thousand will end in divorce.  

       Age at marriage for those who divorce in America

Age	Women	Men
Under 20 years old	27.6%	11.7%
20 to 24 years old	36.6%	38.8%
25 to 29 years old	16.4%	22.3%
30 to 34 years old	8.5%	11.6%
35 to 39 years old	5.1%	6.5%

After sitting back and analyzing these statistics a few questions popped up.


Is marriage viewed the same as it once was in generations past?

Marriage was more of a religious idea than anything else.  People were primarily married in a church under the guidance and direction of a religious figure. Marriage was thought of the merging of two beings into one.  One body, one home.  Today marriage can still be seen as a religious idea but now the secular world has taken a hold of it.  I don’t have a problem with government sanctions but one can not neglect the impact it has on the practice.  Marriage is seen as less of a divine union but more so a formality.  

Is sacrifice still a requirement on a  marriage application?

In these times narcissism is at an all time high.  Personal happiness outweighs the needs of the group or the family.  I feel as though when you are single and experiencing life another person’s feeling shouldn’t matter too much because you have to enjoy life.  But when you are married and or have children the word  “I” should not be used as much.  If you are more concerned with what you want rather than what is best for the family that your odds of being a statistic will drastically increase.  

Does a prenup kill the buzz?

I’m not against a prenuptial agreement because if I am 6 or 7 figures deep I would want to protect what I have worked hard for.  But I also understand that in getting the prenup it is accepting the idea that the marriage can fail.  This is another example of marriage being more of a formality and a business than a divine act.  The state can marry you and can also divorce you.  

Does your mate respect the process?

To do anything well in life one must work hard at it without complaint.  Yes, having success in a marriage or career is not as different as people may think.  It takes hard work to master anything or even come close to being an expert in a discipline.

I think a combination of selflessness and determination is a good start or at least will put you in the right direction.