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Wednesday, June 1, 2011

A "Keep it fresh" tip

Do something different. Seriously, such a small step goes a long way. I'm not even just talking romantic or sexual. Sometimes in relationships, especially when you're married or living together, you get comfortable and everything becomes "business as usual."

This is counterproductive to generating lust because women crave excitement. The longer you've been together, the more she's used to your catch phrases, jokes, responses to certain situations and overall demanor. Why not mix it up a little? If you want to reach new levels you can't be afraid to branch out of your comfort zone. It's like a video game. You get to a certain point where you're conquering and life is good. After a while, you face new challenges and your powers because useless against your new challenges.

So what do you do? Find new weapons and armor, new abilities and new tricks to get past your obstacles. In this case, your obstacle is a bored wife. If your caveman joke followed my a slap on the butt worked two years ago, it's probably not going to hold the test of time forever. In fact, she might be so sick of it that it's now become a turnoff

You need to treat yourself like a comedian. You know your audience (your wife), so start trying new material to see what sticks. It doesn't have to be anything incredibly elaborate.

If your response to "Hey, how's your day going?" is always "Fine," change that. If you're always on the couch watching ESPN when she gets home, change that. DVR the show and be gone when she gets home (gym, jogging, bar, library, wherever). When she shoots you a text, don't respond. Just show up at home an hour or two later than usual (don't overdo it and create a reason for her to be worried), and walk in the house smiling like nothing happened. If nothing else, you've just created a new topic to be discussed.

The bottom line is, you need to adapt once your woman has figured you out. And she WILL figure you out if she hasn't already. The chase of figuring out your new order of operations can be exciting and intriguing, which fires off those "he's not boring" receptors in her brain, which allows her to remain excited and open.

Not long ago, my wife said something that was innocent but could be turned sexual if your mind is in the gutter. I could have responded with one of my typical jokes or a lame "That's what she said!" but that'd be predictable. I don't remember what my response was, but it was CREATIVE and flirty. Her big smile said it all. She even took it a step further and encouraged me to fire off responses like that more often. Why? Because it was a break from the norm and excited her. +PQ indeed.

Try some stuff out and don't get your feelings hurt if things don't work. If you try a joke and get mad at her for not responding the way you want then you've just negated any PQ that you would have gained anyway. Take responsibility for keeping things fresh in your relationship. If you lead, she'll follow.


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