I had an experience with this last night. My wife is finishing up a degree, and had a test that she was pulling an all nighter for. To make a long story short, there was weeping and gnashing of teeth, questioning the meaning of life, and at one point, she had a break down and wondered whether she would achieve greatness or live life as an average person. What began for my dear wife as a legitimately difficult upcoming test for which she was having trouble understanding the information became something so much bigger.
I remained calm, allowed her to vent without injecting too much of "let me fix your problem for you" instinct. When she needed hugs she got them, when she needed encouragement it was received. When she needed to cry it out I left her alone.
Fast forward to about 30 minutes ago, she was e-mailing her professor on something unrelated, and guess what he said?
"VERY good job on your test today."
............. @#$@#$!$$$!
Rollercoasters. Don't get on them.
3 comments:
Ha ha!
The "just listen" thing is straight from John Gray's Mars-Venus playbook and it can work provided that she's just venting about something that's not your fault.
Most definitely. I literally grimaced at times to keep from saying something half the time. It's tough but had to learn to do it!
Taking a step back is a calculated decision....Its devoid of emotion. Rather genius...lol
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