Old cat or new tricks?

By Samson

A sexuality counseler and New York Times bestselling author breaks down the benefits of "comfort sex" or sex in a monogamous relationship. I've had plenty of conversations and know the pros and cons of being monogamous vs. "new pussy." I think the author does a great job of explaining why it's best in most cases to work on your chemistry with one woman:

CNN - The Joy of Comfort Sex

Sexual Partners: The Numbers Game

By Judah
I was hanging out with a friend over the weekend and we ended up at a bar as we usually do. While under the influence we talk about a variety of topics but this time it was gear towards women. Nothing can compare to a woman in a man’s world. At the end of the day it all comes down to women. From their hair, lips, shape, bust, waste, thighs, legs, and eyes. Man was made in the image of God, but woman were made in the image of man’s desires.

Anyways, as we were talking the subject of sexual partners came up and it was an intriguing conversation. Such a great dialogue, even my favorite bartender Victoria had to enlighten us with her two cents..lol ( All puns intended)

I think the average person has their first sexual encounter around the age of 17-20. Some of us start a little early around the age of 15 and some of us start a little later around the age of 25. This post is for those to started in the medium which is about 17.

The debate we had at the bar under countless shots of liquor consisted of the following questions:


How many sexual partners is a conservative number and how many is too much for a woman to have?

Would you be cool if the woman you are seeing told you see was involved with a train or 3some?


These are some pretty interesting questions to say the least. I personally think it has to do more with age. If I am talking to a 40 year old woman and she throws a number like 50 at me, I can’t be too shocked or turned off. So let’s say she starts at 20 years of age and she has two a year. That is about 40 partners plus 10 which is totally understandable. She dated or felt compelled to trip and fall on 2 dicks per year. Now if I am dating a 30 year old woman and she throws out the same number with the same stats I can make the same argument. Instead of 2 per year she tripped on 5 per year. It’s very subjective...you have to be comfortable with the results and be secure within your own manhood.

Don’t ask the questions you do not want the answers to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Side Note: Women are human being just like men...Stop putting Pussy on a Pedestal. Women have wants and desire just like men..The only difference is that men are more likely to act of them and it’s hypocritical to frown on a woman who acts on her desires.

Now we get to the train...I think the issue gets a little more black and white when it comes to a 3some. If a girl had a fantasy from which she wanted to double dick clutch and she lived it out, I think it is cool. I prefer not to have a woman like that but like I said before they are human too.
Now multiple double dick clutching on a casual basis is a no go...That is hoe status.

Definition of a Hoe:

Jumps on multiple dicks on a normal fluid basis with a dash of gold digger all rolled up in one.


Personally I think all of this is subjective but I think the easiest way to look for a solution is to look within yourself. I had a great time in college and I met a number of woman. I know that I wouldn’t want a woman of serious interest to pick apart my dating history or judge me based on what I did in my past. It is good to understand a person’s history but people can change and that is what is great about life. Besides.....if your woman has a big number look at it as practice and know that her technique and experience will be all yours. I think men try to find a balance between a good girl and a bad girl...The whole lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets ideal.

Deal Breakers

By Judah

Adult relationships are interesting to say the least. For the past few weeks I have been talking to a woman with whom I’m fascinated with. We have a great deal in common and enjoying the possibilities, to keep it mild.

To quote the Love Jones guru Larenz Tate:

"Romance is about the possibility of things. You see it's about the time between when you first meet some fine woman and when you first make love to her. And when you first ask a woman to marry you and when she says I do.”

Side note: If you wanna pick up a few things here and there fellas watch this movie. No Doubt.

During the time you first meet someone, it can be very exciting. Your finishing each other’s sentences, finding limitless topics to discuss and it feels like your hit with a shot of heroin...lol Not that I have tasted heroin but I can understand the feeling.

Anyways, during one of our initial conversations she asked me what are my deal breakers. I had to sit down and think about it. Of course there are things about a woman that I want and things that I would like to stay away from. So I thought I might put together a list of 6 things that are important to me. If the woman of my interest does not have these qualities it would be a no go.

Independence:

I want a woman who has the ability to take care of herself. As a man I believe it is my roll to be the protector and comforter on some level. Although this may be true, when I date a woman I am not looking for a damsel in distress. I am not interested in putting on a cape and playing superman. She was able to survive before we met, she should be able to support herself during and after if applicable. I have a boss at work and she is a very special woman. She is in her early 50’s and she always drops some knowledge on me while we are on lunch break. She said never to date a woman who has not lived on her own. At first, I was like every circumstance is unique and that is a hard line. But as I thought about it...the more it made sense. At my age (25) I should not be involving myself with someone who does not have some level of independence. A quicky is one thing...lol but a relationship is another.

Physical fitness:

I am from the real south...where a woman being 200 plus pounds is normal. I have nothing against a curvey woman. I find it is more about energy and confidence than anything else. There have been some women in my life with a swag so real I was able to overlook a healthy frame. I love women in general. I can get down with a Rihanna or a Jordan Sparks. Riri has a small frame and Jordan is a healthy thick woman. I can appreciate both for different reasons.

Since I moved to northern Va I have been lazy. No if and or buts about it. I gained about 25 pounds since my move. But about a month ago I started working out again and have evened the playing field. I am down 18 pounds. I won’t be stopping at 25 pounds though..I plan on achieving model status before the summer is out. I wasn’t always a health nut, I enjoyed a few jr. bacon cheese burgers back in my day...lol But as I grow into maturity it is important for me to have a mate who also has the desire to be healthy. An activity partner perhaps. I like taking walks, lifting weights, jogging, and am starting to get into yoga. There is no way around it...having a healthy active lifestyle will lead to having a tight body.

Good Hygiene:

This is pretty straight forward and also correlates with physical fitness. When you take care of your body as a temple it will also translate into good hygiene. Unless it is 8 in the morning, or you just ate a sour cream taco, there is no reason not to have fresh or neutral breath. I am a big fan of girly girls. Women who enjoy being a woman. This includes keeping her hair together, nails, cloths, and overall appearance in check. If we are watching movies late at night and you have on a sweat shirt that is cool..but if we are going to a fancy dinner and you have on tom boy ass outfit we aint going to work.

Freaky:

This is a no brainer...lol There is a fine line between having a girl who is sexual and being a slut. A girl who is sexual wants to be sexy for her man and do things to please him as he would her. A slut is promiscuous and enjoys double dick clutching from time to time. But that’s a whole different topic meant for another blog post. Anyways, most men can agree with me that they would like a woman who is open in bed and not a prude. If a woman tells me she doesn’t give head with a straight face...lol I would look at her like she is insane.


Well Read:

I like a worldly woman. Someone who knows something I may not know. I love to learn..and who best to teach me something than the woman I share a bed with. Politics, religion, life, experience, people, places, things, ect. Someone who has lived and enjoys living and learning.



Honesty:

An honest woman goes a long way with me. A woman could tell me the most fucked up thing in the world..but if it is the truth she will have all of my respect.

Conquer life, conquer the Vajayjay

By Samson
Males are born with the insatiable desire to conquer things... It's just in us. Whether it's sports, business, goals, or women--this testosterone driven desire to "own" something makes us who we are. In earlier times, you had the kill of the day to squelsh this hunger to dominate.

We've evolved, but this need is still ingrained in us and manifests itself in projects and goals--fixing your car, toying with your motorcycle, going to the gun range, getting that promotion, making a killing off of a hot investment, etc. Not only do these conquests make you a better, more well-rounded person, they're necessary for fostering and KEEPING attraction during the human mating process. It's been scientifically proven that the go-getter with various projects to take on is likely to have higher testosterone levels than the guy who's content living in his mother's basement and playing Madden for hours.

Can you still get women and have a relationship living like the second guy? Sure. Can you get quality women by living like that guy? Debatable.

This isn't to say you have to walk around in Armani suits acting like you're living like an Entourage character, but it does mean that tapping into that innate manly need to go conquer the hell out of something is as important today as it was in the hunter-gatherer days. When you strip ANY aspect of dating and sex down to a pure survival level, you get this; Man (provider, protector, leader, backbone), Woman (nurturer, supporter, caretaker), etc. Displays that shows these traits will attract you to one another.

The guy with his stuff together and a clear vision shows the qualities of a protector and a leader. The woman that can cook and carry fabulous conversations with you shows that she can nourish the household and provide a place of comfort for her man when he comes home.

If you want to elevate your PQ, BE this guy, don't act like this guy. Show some interest in yourself. Make sure you're on your A-Game professionally and carve out clear visions for where you see your life going. Embrace your hobbies, not just the fun ones, but activities that are useful life skills. Becoming a better man, and having the drive to continuously conquer and improve is guaranteed PQ. And you won't have to walk around with a list of certifications or things you just accomplished, women will smell it on you.

They're very perceptive and can sniff out the weak man with no vision and that can't protect them. It's sexually attractive because sex is how we keep the population going on Earth, and showing these basic evolutionary traits (survival of the fittest) makes you the perfect suitor for a woman to want to mate with.

A woman said it herself in a song some years back, "Ambition makes me so horny..."

Go out and be a man and conquer the hell out of something.

Hands off the merchandise!

By Samson

I've been following a thread on the SOHH.com forums that's beein going strong for a year called the "Don't touch your shit challenge."

Basically, it is what is sounds like. A poster issued a challenge/support group encouraging his fellow brethren not to fly solo. Reason being, the thread started pointed out, and many chimed in with research and opinions, in doing so, you tend to get in the habit of it, which lowers your testosterone levels, kills your libido and overall drive, causing you to be more lethargic and less assertive. I happened to be reading an e-book last night that was totally unrelated, and in one portion, a person advised his colleagues to refrain also, because it will kill their drive to go after their financial and business goals.

I think there may be something to this.

We live in a generation where you can log onto a computer and see a woman, or women do whatever your imagination can come up with. The line between fantasy and reality can get blurred if you over indulge and cause a disconnect between what your brain connects with and your reality. It's happened quickly.

In MY day (makes me sound old, doesn't it?) it wasn't so easy to come across that type of material. If anything, you had to stay up all night watching a boring movie on HBO that just so happened to have an 'N' marked under it's rating for nudity. And that scene lasted 5-10 seconds if you were lucky. But now you can type in a random nasty sounding URL and feed your brain whatever you want, which spoils you in a sense.

So getting into this habit, you walk out of the door already fed instead of hungry. That woman in the mini skirt doesn't excite you ass much because you're already full. And if you did want to approach her, you're not giving off strong pheromones and you lack the "killer instinct" you would have had. Not only that, but you go to work with paltry testosterone levels so you're not as assertive or driven.

For whatever reason, having sex doesn't have this same effect. Yes, you're getting your "release," but your brain knows the difference. Studies show that people with healthy sex lives are happier and do better in the workplace, so there's obviously more to this than an ejaculation.

The thread was informative but also hilarious. It was funny reading about guys who came into the challenge gung ho and then fell off the wagon five hours later because they were browsing and saw an article they liked, which had an attractive woman in the background, which led to Googling other attractive women, which led to looking for less clothed attractive women, which led to... well you see where this is going.

The poster encourages you to have sex with women, so the goal isn't celibacy. It's intended to create discipline that allows you to be at your absolute best.

PQ Move of the Week

By Samson

If you've read the post about PQ, you understand it's importance. Well whenever we find someone who makes a noteworthy "man move," we like to salute them on 2 Cent Tab. I introduce to you our first "PQ Move of the Week" recipient, a poster on the Loveshack.org forums.

The poster has been messing around with a new lady friend, and knew recently that it was going to go all the way. He gave himself an edge by using "performance enhancing drugs," so that he knew for sure he'd be on top of his game. It started as an experiment, and you can read for yourself whether that expirement was a success of failure.

You, sir, are a winner. We salute you:

This post is for those that have wondered about the effects of those ED pills commonly advertised. I ran a field experiment, of sorts, on the new girl friend this evening. She and I had never had sex prior to tonight, and she DID NOT know I used a "supplement". Here's my story :


So about 15 months ago I was still married and I thought I'd surprise my now ex wife by experimenting (on her) with levitra - I told my doctor I was curious and he said that many of his patients around my age (27 at the time) were as well, so he wrote me a script for 6, 10mg levitra pills - he referred to these as "test pills".


Shortly after acquiring the test pills, I discovered my ex wife was having an affair (...which absolutely explained her decreased desire to get intimate) and we broke up in the following months. Needless to say, I never got to use one of the pills; I took them with me when I left her skank ass. haha.


Fast forward to two weeks ago. By that time, I had long forgot I had the pills, but coincidentally I was making great progress with a girl I've been seeing for a month now. We had not had sex yet, but a steady base-by-base progression was the norm each weekend.


Last week she was over and while we were fooling around in front of my TV, there came the commercial... "ask your doctor if cialis is right for you..." BOOM, I recalled everything instantly. It was my time. I could finally complete the experiment I so wanted to complete back in 2010.


Fast forward to tonight. We had dinner, drinks, things went well and when we went back to my place, I knew we were headed towards the sack (the progression from weeks past left nothing else to explore except sex). As usual, I told her to make herself comfortable, then I immediately excused myself and took 20mg of levitra in the restroom.


Okay... so I know the stuff is suppose to take 30 minutes to an hour to kick in, but, uhh... no; at least, not for me. Perhaps I was over excited that the day finally came to complete my experiment, who knows...


In any event, about 10 minutes after taking the pills, she sparked up a conversation, using mild innuendo here and there and that was enough to cause a noticeable bulge going on under my jeans. From that point we began making out and fooling around. I have to admit, I felt a bit light headed, and my vision was a liiiiiiiiiitle foggy, nothing too crazy, but clearly I was under the influence of something.


Fast forward to the bedroom. Nothing out of the ordinary at first; things were functioning great; she was enjoying herself as was I, then it hit me: I really need to turn up the heat and see what I can do on this stuff. Again, this was the first time we've ever had sex - so I had to let her know I meant business. It got totally rockstar up in there.


See, the thing is gentlemen, you can climax if you like, but guess what...? from a functionality standpoint, you're still ready to rock, and that's exactly what happened. Needless to say this is the part that really got me excited (as I don't think she reached orgasm at that point). I simply switched condoms and the war raged on.


Now here's the coolest part: she knew that I climaxed already, so when I almost immediately came back for more, she was stunned. The look on her face was like, wow, who is this guy??


So turning things off was difficult, but only when in a sexual environment. We had sex for about 2 hours, back to back - round 1 was maybe 30 minutes (wasn't really keeping track), but the second set was definitely longer. I assume she climaxed somewhere between screams. If she wasn't faking those screams, I'm certain she climaxed.


Afterward we held each other, talked a bit and eventually we got dressed. Interestingly enough, as I walked across the room to grab my clothes, guess what? Yeah, I was still pitching a tent. I had to put my underwear on in a way that "restrained myself" so that I wouldn't look crazy as I walked her to her car.


Fortunately it didn't come to that. Like I said earlier, outside of a sexually charged environment, things fall back to normal; at least down there.


Anyway, the date ended and I was a stud. Could I have been a stud w/o the pills? Well, I would have been good, sure; but I wouldn't have been able to get busy back-to-back and I doubt she would have reached climax through penetration only.


About an hour after things were all said and done, I did experience a bit of a headache. Nothing major, but certainly sort of annoying. It's listed as one of the drugs side effects. blah.


Would I do it again? I sure would, only if it was a first time having sex thing. Maybe there's a bit of the placebo effect worked in to the experience, but after taking it you just feel like you're going to rock her socks off. Maybe it's not so much the pills, as it is your attitude going into things. Either way, the pills definitely created a situation where we could have kept things going for longer than we did, no problem.


This is why I would use them again for first time sex. First time sex are the try outs for future sex. In this man's humble opinion, if you rock her socks THE FIRST TIME, then you're in. I believe this worked well for me tonight.


I'm putting the rest of these babies away until the next girl friend.
Fin.

Condoms are stupid...

By Samson
They really are...

Sure, they protect you from pregnancy, STD's and can potentially save your life, but on a straight up human gratification level they're the worst. So feeling the way I do about condoms, you can bet I'm doing a happy dance now that me and the wife have decided that she get back on birth control. She's not thrilled about using it, but in the grand scheme of things, I'm not sure who will be more excited about kicking condoms to the curb, me or her.

Throughout our relationship, I've had too many "Negative PQ" [See the definition of PQ here] moments in the bedroom to count due to condoms. They always go something like this.


*Samson and wife are getting it on. Wife is thoroughly enjoying it. Samson begins enjoying it too much and starts thinking of box scores and math problems...*


*Strategy works for a while but then Samson reaches "Decision time" [fellas, I know you feel me], where he's either going to calm down (and in this case put a condom on) or hit full throttle and go for the gusto.*

There's no in between when your mind is at that point.

Samson: Hey babe... B-b-babe... I gotta hold up and put a condom on...

Wife: Noooo! *Holds on so Samson doesn't move*

*Samson enters emergency mode and pushes wife off so he can grab a condom before changing his mind*

Wife: *sigh of disgust*

Samson: -250 PQ :(


Now she doesn't know this, but when she does that all too familiar sigh of disgust, what I really hear is "You lame muthafucka!" Hey, not ready for kids quite yet so I just have to take my Negative PQ in that moment like a man.

But when I think about this, I realize how ridicilously unnatural condoms are. We've used them for the majority of the marriage, so basically, in it's lifetime, my penis has spent a lot more time feeling latex than my own wife's vagina. How is that natural? If you had to throw a condom on your tongue to eat food, you'd still get fed--but would it really be the same?

After dwelling on this, I always go to the thought that this is why marriage is important. I'm not a moralist, so if you're into swinging and slinging, to each his own. When it's time to "settle down" it only makes sense to have one "go to" person for the peace of mind of both of you.

Tapping into your animal instincts

By Samson

Keep it simple stupid. That’s how the saying goes, but if we follow this advice and really examine our everyday human interactions, you’ll realize that as intellectual as we may be, no matter how beautifully complex we are, when it comes down to it we’re really just smart ass animals.

Our urges, impulses, wants and needs trump the distractions (think careers, technology, MONEY) that are both self-imposed and placed on us. One of my philosophies I’m liable to share after a few brews between friends is simply this; in the physical sense, we’re placed on this planet for one reason and one reason only—to have sex. We’re hardwired to our core to want and need it, and the majority of what we do can all come back to it.

Though Sigmund Freud is the most recognizable Psychological mind ever, he catches a lot of flack by some for his theories. I won’t bore you with a lecture on it, but he basically says that from birth, we develop in psychosexual stages. Through these five stages, we satisfy our sexual urges. To be clear, this doesn’t mean that your infant would have a stash of “baby porn” (I’m worried about the Feds knocking on my door after typing that phrase alone), but that we’re born with a libido, and that it manifests itself in different ways as we mature. Basically, you go from having an oral fixation and manipulating attention by being cute (baby), to having kiddy crushes on your parents through Oedipus and Electra complexes (toddler) to having actual sexual feelings, expressed with genital awareness and masturbation, to actual relationships and having sex.

You can look at these theories and pick and choose how literal you want to take things, but the fact remains that to our core, sex and “animalistic” urges dominate every part of our lives. We intellectualize things a lot and try to be politically correct, which is good in a sense, but in another sense I think we outsmart ourselves.

I grabbed a beer with my co-workers recently, and those of us that are married went into the inevitable “How did you meet?” stories. Without fail, each and every story started with strong physical feelings (I guess you can call it lust), that happened unplanned and opened the door to getting to know that person. A lot of people have laundry lists of what they want in a partner (height, weight, hair color, number of degrees, salary, etc.) tucked away in their back pocket, and they go out into the world with that list and start looking for love. Doesn’t happen that way.

Now to be clear, I’m not saying that you should hoe it up and expect love to happen. I’m mainly saying that you’re likely going to find love in a more animalistic, or primal way than you think, even if there’s no sex involved immediately. Attraction comes first, and then you make a decision whether to act on or it not as you get to know each other. Though my ideal woman is smart, funny and attractive, her resume that lists her degrees and comedy credits isn’t even going to reach my desk if she looks like Precious. Just being real.

Now fellas, this goes both ways. Pop culture tries to sell us on this PC notion that the ideal guy cries as much as his woman, shares his feelings ad nauseum and doesn’t prioritize sex. In fact, the 2011 man is taught that having sexual urges makes you one of “those guys” and that all of their female friends and acquaintances are “good girls” that would be repulsed at those kinds of thoughts or actions. This breeds a whole lot of men that can provide the comfortable feelings that women enjoy, without the carnal urges that are needed for a healthy union between woman and man.

To be honest, the “friend zone” is nothing more than a guy who wants more but is scared to make a move. SHE doesn’t put you in it, you put yourself in it. While you’re being the All-American friend, she allows you to be the cuddly wuddly shoulder to cry on, while she gets her, ahem, needs fulfilled by the guy who she inevitably ends up crying to you about. Why? Because you ignored the animal in you and outsmarted yourself by thinking you’re above those sorts of things. Because you’ve evolved into a new millennium man and are above that primitive stuff.

OK, enough of the sex talk. In times of natural disaster, when our infrastructure collapses and the distractions we’ve created fade away, you’ll notice that our primal needs reach the forefront. All that matters is gathering food and water and feeding your family. I’m not talking about the NBA or NFL player “needing” the bigger contract because “I gotta feed my family.” No, I mean REALLY feed your family. Wayne said it best on one of his mixtapes a few years back: “Ain’t nobody safe when it’s for the kids sake.” I don’t advocate crime, but if the system collapses and you’re in survival mode, well, things tend to quickly become less PC.

We buy our food in neat little pretty packages at Wal-Mart, but we’re still buying raw, sometimes bloody meat that needs to be put to heat and eaten. We’ve come a long way so that instead of going out and hunting for the kill of the day, we can use our Kroger card and get gas discounts while buying the kill of the day, and eating it in our cushy condos.

We’ve evolved (as we should), but don’t believe for a second that those traits that got the cavemen through hard times don’t still ring true today. When things get real in your workplace, relationship, household or ANY situation in your daily life, think about the ways the animal in you might trump the intelligent, well-rounded human and help you get ahead in that situation. You might be surprised.